Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Land of the Mormons: A Return to the Fold

Captain's Log
Earth Date 27-28 July 2014


     We have found The Place where we will settle (for two days). Salt Lake City is the Mormon Mecca, with  the center of the city thick with Mormon monuments, historical buildings, a temple and a visitor's center. Not long after arriving Zach and I were reading the large granite tablets with various scriptures on them about topics such as "government," and "family," when we turned around to see that Damien was chatting away with two lady missionaries. After a few minuets of active avoidance, we turned around and noticed them waving at us (obviously Damien was explaining how we were connected to him). Feeling wildly uncomfortable I wandered over to their circle and introduced myself. They were explaining to Damien when and where the tours happened and subtly offered that if there were other questions about The Church they could "teach" us by phone or at home. Not really knowing how to deal with that, the three of us merely looked at the missionaries and an oppressing 10 second silence occurred. After a cordial decline in the offer we tried to change the subject and asked where they were from. One was from Brazil and the other was from California. Unable to control myself and thinking it must be boring to be sent to Salk Lake on a mission (rather than somewhere foreign and exciting), I bluntly/judgmentally asked them, "What is that like? Do you enjoy it?" A stupid question. Of course they are going to say they like it, but they apparently didn't get that one often, since they at first answered me with silence and blank stares before uttering that, yes, they were really enjoying their time there. Grappling with embarrassment at my kinda rude question, I tried to remain as silent and polite as possible for the remainder of the interaction, but I was so glad when they finally excused themselves from us.
      It's not that I do not like them as people; I guess they just made me uncomfortable, impart because I grew up Mormon, and also because it freaks me out that they simply believe things I cannot reconcile about things like the three kingdoms of heaven, baptism for the dead and their cult-like ways of keeping the youth so busy that they are surrounded by their own all the time. I mean, I remember really believing in Mormon doctrine and just kinda accepting their stories about Joseph Smith translating golden plates given to him by the angel Moroni, the the kingdoms of heaven and other fundamental aspect  of the Mormon foundation, without ever looking it up in the Bible/Book of Mormon and reading it for myself. It's scary to think that that could have been my future: those lady missionaries, the arrogance of thinking that your church was the one and only true church and trying to "save" everyone and bring them the The Truth. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, Utah has the highest percentage of people who seriously consider/attempt suicide in the US. I don't think it simply a happy coincidence that this is also the state which has an overrepresentation of one single religious group that tends to be unforgiving of certain human traits and behaviors.
    Later that night a Whisky Street Pub we learned about the liquor restrictions in Utah. Apparently you can only have 1.5 ounces of the same liquor in front of you at a time. This includes drinks such as a Manhattan or other drinks that call for at least 2 ounces of a certain liquor. They simply have to alter the recipe to abide by the laws. The result is that many drinks are less potent than you would expect them to be if you are from a liquor loving state like CA, where free-pouring has not been abolished. Yes, in Utah, all of the nozzle of the liquor bottles have been replaced with magnetic, contraptions that measure out the alcohol and after the 1.5 ounces is reached, the nozzle simply closes and that is that. Later on in Moab, Utah we discussed this with locals at another bar. More on those interactions later.
    The next day we visited the Planetarium, which had amazing hands on exhibits about the way the earth works within the solar system. The exhibits answer questions such as why do we have seasons? Why is the North Star North? How to tornadoes form? What is the difference between refraction and reflection telescopes? What causes wind? and tides? and How do we know about black holes? I enjoyed this place immensely and when we were finished with the museum I purchased butterfly earrings (made of real butterfly wings...pulled off post-mortem, of course), which I plan on weirding out my future students as part of my intimidation/respect/meta-game game for the beginning of the school year.


Later on for dinner, much to the chagrin of Zachary, who thought up until this point that his sister only likes "weird, hippie" food and tofu, we took him to the Melting Pot. For those who do not know, The Melting Pot is fucking delicious. It specializes in fondue and like Korean BBQ, patrons cook their own food in the center of the table. There are many different choices of meat and veggies to cook with various cooking broths and delectable cheeses to dip veggies and bread into as well. Zach eventually admitted that he enjoyed the cuisine. win for the panda (and Zach too, I guess. Changed yo' life, bitch.) Together, Zach and I enjoyed drinks from their menu (that were decidedly weak..) Zen Master was the one I selected and it was tasty even though it did little to alter my sober-like state. Characteristically, Zach selected The Baller, and was disappointed. 

That's all for now. 
Panda, out


 

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